Notable Pitching Week

The CPL has already seen 3 60-point weeks in the nascent '09 season, all from pitchers. The highest being from super-model-dating, social-phobia-having, 12-year-old-looking Zack Greinke.

In week two, he did this: 14 Inn, 0 ER, 2W, and 19Ks.

Some would call that "impressive" or "dominating."

Greinke's owner, Ricky, was at a loss for words after his ace's outstanding performance, saying only, "that just happened!"

Notable Weeks

Though it's still early, the CPL has already had 2 50-point weeks from hitters, both of whom play for the Ole' Bullshit and proud owner (and full-time lucky jack-ass), Mike Fenn.

Ian Kinsler - Week 2 - 59 points

Kinsler swiped 6, hit 2 dingers and batted .556. He's talented.

Albert Pujols - Week 3 - 50 points

Pujols, the machine, cranked 3 bombs, and stole 3 bases (all thanks to Jesus) while putting up a double-quarter.


Unironically, these are the 2 highest scoring hitters in the CPL. Nonetheless, Ole' Bullshit is only 1-2 on the season. (Perhaps, that's irony? I don't really know anymore.)

Owch, Part 2: Reliever Bugaloo

Last night, Matt Lindstrom took the biggest shit imaginable, in the biggest bed on the planet. He faced 9 batters. 7 of them scored. That's a Mendoza-Line-ish success rate.... for a pitcher.

Lindstrom is said to be growing a third ball, just so he can say "Oww my balls" and actually mean it.

The marathon? Really? Lets focus on the real sports boston. No one cares about competitive exercising.

Chien-Ming WTF!?? (Or Chien-Ming Oww my Wang)

Ouch. Owwwch. Roughest week ever, (or "When you hope your starter doesn't make his second start of the week").

Here's the line for the Sinker-Balling Taiwanian:
2.1 INN
14 HA
3 BBI
2 K
16 ER
1 HB

I'll let Peter Griffin sum that up:

Week 1 '09 in the Books

Overall an interesting week. I mean, Fierce Deuce is currently in first place, picking up the W on 547 points! Who saw that coming?

Aces Getting Rocked, Khalil Greene Hitting Cleanup, Cats and Dogs Living Together - A Wacky "Opening Day"

That sums it up.

Seriously Tony Larussa, you've got this guy, Ludwick, on your team, he cranked 37 bombs last year. Then you've got this guy, Greene who crankd 27 bombs, two years ago and is currently a pretty terrible offensive player, and you go with ....... option B to protect the best hitter of the modern era. Jeepers. Don't you have a stop light to drunkenly pass out at?

In other news, Baseball Tonight has now included a sequence of commentators walking around the studio, and a segment with two versions of Karl Ravech on my screen to demonstrate switch hitting. Yet, somehow, I think I love it.

Scores. Will. Update. Tonight!!!

Real games. Real, meaningful, score-updating, effing games!

And so it begins. Happy Baseball Everyone!

Speaking of, pictures from Saturday's preseason game at the new CitiFied: