Monday, October 19, 2009

Winter Meetings '09/'10

The CPL braintrust gathered in majestic Hartford, CT over this past weekend to hash out new rules, talk trades, eat chilli and drink beers. It was a very successful event on all fronts.

Minor changes were implemented to the Constitution, most notably a rule about making rules which requires a super-majority of 6 votes to institute any rule changes. The meetings were also highlighted by Fierce Deuce owner Kevin Hadfield's nutmeg chilli, Mike Oleyer's steak tips and a UConn football victory.

Additional Winter Meeting highlights:

"Who wears high-heels to a tailgate?"

"Let's play 'Catch the Coat-hanger'!"

-"'Jesus take the wheel?' That sounds like a bad idea."
-"I think it's a metaphor."

"October 14, 1988"

"Smashmortion"









Monday, August 10, 2009

Playoff Picture Update: 18 Down, 3 To Go

Not surprisingly, week 18 saw the 4 leading teams topple the 4 crappy teams, and the polaroid picture that is the '09 playoffs come further into focus.

It's official: Chuck Norris Death Machine and Mike Greenwell Power have been mathematically eliminated (joining Fierce Deuce), and Zarley Zalapski and Friends and Ole' Bullshit have clinched playoff spots (joining Bangkok Dangerous). Neither Here nor Oleyer got one step closer to clinching their own spot by winning in week 18 while the Hunter Killers lost (so really two steps closer). (Olyere also leads the point race by 70 points.)

With 6 team/games remaining, Oleyer's magic number is 2. It will take a miracle for HK to avoid the loser's tournament.

Week 19 Playoff Implicating Matchups:
Ole' Bullshit at Neither Here Nor Oleyer
Hunter Killers at Chuck Norris Death Machine

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Dropped, The Deuce

At 4-13 on the season the Deuce have been mathematically eliminated from playoff contention, as Neither Here Nor Oleyer currently sits in the last spot with 9 wins.

The rest of the playoff picture breaks down as follows:

Chuck Norris Death Machine: Hanging by a Thread

CNDM must win out to finish at 9-12 on the season. Oleyer must lose out to finish with the same record. However, Oleyer losing out would ensure at least one more win for the Hunter Killers bringing them to a minimum of 9 wins,as well. Thus, CNDM needs Oleyer to lose every game from here out and for HK to lose every game, except their matchup with Oleyer, AND then beat both teams in the overall points tie-breaker. CNDM is trailing those teams by about 300 and 120 points, respectively, right now. "A snowball's chance in hell" seems overly-optimistic.

Mike Greenwell Power: Hanging by a Burning Piece of Rope

As it stands now, MGP trails the points race to Oleyer and HK by about 400 and 250 points respectively. Viewing this hole as insurmountable, MGP will need to win out to get to 10 wins and take the tie-breaker out of play. Unfortunately, the schedule is not kind, MGP plays the current top 3 teams in the standings in its final 4 games (though the 4th game is against the terrible Fierce Deuce) and doesn't get a head to head matchup with HK or Oleyer.

It's gonna take a Miracle

Hunter Killers: Hot Damn, Walt is in this thing!

At this moment, HK is 1 game and 160 points back of Oleyer. Neither deficit is insurmountable. The week 20 head to head matchup between these two teams is likely to be a must-win for Walt as this week Oleyer is a heavy favorite against the Deuce and HK is matching up with the first place Bangkok Dangerous. But, as long as Walt picks up one out of his next two (he'll be favored in week 19 v. CNDM), week 20 will mean a whole lot.

Neither Here Nor Oleyer: The Driver's Seat of the Playoff Wagon

The points lead, and a matchup with the negligently uncompetitive Fierce Deuce has Oleyer poised to seal up that final playoff spot. Odds are good that Oleyer will still have at least a one game lead going into week 20. That will make the game versus HK a potential knockout punch, without a risk of losing hold of the final playoff spot (assuming no flip-flopping in the points). Nonetheless, this could come down to the wire, as Oleyer has cooled off, losing his last two games.

But don't bet against the reigning champs.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Predictions and stuff

We're a little past the half-way mark, this is where people usually start to make predictions about end-of-the-season awards. So here goes:

The MVP race is almost 100% locked up in both leagues it seems. Pujols is probably getting 10 to 1 odds in favor of him winning the award in Vegas, and really only something as unlikely and cataclysmic as a 30 minute solar eclipse could derail his campaign.

As for the AL, it will take something completely possible, but still very unlikely to keep Morneau from grabbing his 2nd trophy. Morneau will actually get competition, and, it's safe to say, will not win the award unanimously (as Pujols is sure to do) thanks to a big year from Carl Crawford. It would also be unwise to bet against the stupidity masquerading as nostalgia and high-mindedness of the Baseball Writers to cast a bunch of votes for Derek Jeter, who is in fact having a very good season despite passing over the threshold into the age where Hadfield is likely to make him a 3rd round pick. Of course Jeter's old-balls-iness will only make him more popular with writers, who think things like surprising numbers and overcoming adversity (A-rod's steroids and then injury, shaky pitching, or "he's old!" or whatever other bullshit) actually has something to do with being valuable - plus don't forget Jeter's never lost an All-star game!

The Cy Young awards follow a somewhat similar pattern. Fucking screw everything in NL because Dan Haren has an ERA under 2.00 and a WHIP of .80. If you're WHIP is low enough that were it your BAC you would not immediately drop dead, you should win the Cy Young award AND collect an automatic 5 votes (in the form of redeemable chips) towards entering the Hall of Fame. Blah blah blah, Tim Lincecum, blah blah, NL west can't hit for balls, blah blah blah. .8 WHIP, people!

The AL gets a little more dicey as the race appears to be between Greinke and Halladay, w/ King Felix poised to make a stretch run. Halladay is probably the favorite here if he stays in the AL, since people are all up on this guys balls right now. Plus, Greinke has, despite the insanely low ERA, shown signs of being mortal. Halladay is more likely to end up with a higher Win total as well - and Cy Young voters love those W's - and Halladay will rightfully get credit for pitching in the murderer's row that is the AL East. If Halladay gets traded to the Senior Circuit, then the race becomes a little more open as between Hernandez and Greinke.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Johnny Cuet-Oww My Balls!!

-11.17. That's what Cueto did Monday night against the Phillies. A quick scan shows this is likely the worst pitching performance of the season, and it included a 3-run double allowed to Cole Hamels (with two outs).

Overall, Cueto's line looked like this: 2/3 IP, 5 HA, 3 BB, 1 HB, 9 ER. His performance could only have been worse if he castrated himself on the mound and threw his nuts up there. Not. Good.

Monday, July 6, 2009

580.17-304.67

With the 11th 500 point game and second-highest score total of the season, Bangkok Dangerous opened up a tanker of whoop-ass, nearly doubling up the Deuce. Much like an actual Fierce Deuce this game was not pretty, as the BD ("th Kok") dropped 17 HRs, along with 6 Wins and 7 Saves (posting an overall ERA of 2.20).

Deuce Manager/Owner Kevin Hadfield took time from grilling a squirrel during a 4th of July cookout to lambaste his team. "You gotta play with a little something called 'pride.' You can't just stop trying cuz you know you're down by 200 points." Said Hadfield through a mouth of dip, in between spitting into a sippy-cup. "You gotta act like you've got a pair, even when you know you can't win. These guys are giant pussies and I'd kick their asses if I ever met them... and didn't have a bum shoulder."

Meanwhile, that's the 3rd 500 point week for BD, the leagues highest scoring team.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

146.3

That's how many points Ole' Bullshit tallied in a single day (June 16). That insane output was notwithstanding a -1.5 performance from Paul Maholm (go figure).

Despite a 5-5 record, Ole' Bullshit is clearly a team no one wants to fuck with because of days like this.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Clash of the Shite-tans


A Fantasy Horror Show


Chuck Norris Death Machine and Mike Greenwell Power came into week 9 with a combined record of 4-12, and having been outscored in head-to-head games by a total of over one thousand points.

But nothing could prepare the fantasy world for their output over the first two days of their matchup. What was being billed as the fantasy equivalent of figuring out the crappiest Michael Bay movie, has quickly devolved (if that's possible) to the equivalent of figuring out the shittiest Leprechaun movie (Holy fuck, there are six of those movies - I'm going with Leprechaun 4: In Space).

CNDM and MGP have slapped together this line so far: 27-146, 6 2B, 3HR and 12BB (that's .185-.246-.287).

Doctor, my testicles are in agonizing pain!

"This old Lep, he played one. He played pogo on his lung."

Monday, May 25, 2009

Twin 50s

Week 7 saw several monstrous offensive weeks.

The highest scorers were a pair of twins (is that redundant?). Michael Cuddyer had 57 points and Joe Mauer dropped 56!

Right behind them were Mark Reynolds with 55 and, with 52 points was...... Jason Bartlett(!!??).

Fierce Deuce managed to sign Bartlett in he middle of his explosion, but did not receive the benefit of all tose points. Bartlett will surely return to earth now that he's drawn some fantasy attention, and because Fierce Deuce sucks.

Trade #48

Mike Greenwell Power trade Carlos N. Lee and Carlos Pena to
Zarley Zalapski and Friends for Sean Marshall and Joey
Votto.

They also swap 13 and 26 round picks in favor of MGP.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Can We All Agree

Randy Johnson is "shy" of 300 wins. Players are not "shy" of the cycle when they finish without the homer or the triple.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Memorable Chatter

"You all have special ladies in your life, but only one fo you is walking your girlfriend's poodle."

- Fenn, recognizing Oleyer is way out in front in the "who will get engaged next" list between him Ricky and Rico.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

RPs, an Expose

Owners had discussed the randomness that goes into drafting relievers when compared with the results. I was bored and being lazy on Sunday, and playing on excel is fun, so I crunched some numbers on he top 25 scoring RPs.

The top 10 scoring RPs as of the young season so far are as follows(in order):
Broxton, Jonathan RP LA
Francisco, Frank RP TEX
Franklin, Ryan RP STL
Rodriguez, Francisco J. RP NYM
Bell, Heath RP SD
Cordero, Francisco RP CIN
Wilson, Brian RP SF
Bailey, Andrew SP OAK
Papelbon, Jonathan RP BOS
Qualls, Chad RP ARI

AMongst these guys, only Papelbon (4) and K-rod (7) were drafted in the top 10 rounds. Only Broxton(14) and Qualls(19) were additionally drafted in the top 20. Fransisco was taken at 31 and Franklin was not drafted (assigned a value of 36). The top 4 RPs avergae a salary of 22. The top 10 releivers average a salary of 22.5. Stopping at Papelbon, the top RPs average 22.9 and RPs 5-8 average 23.6.

The second group of RPs are here:
Fuentes, Brian RP ANA
Soria, Joakim RP KC
Jenks, Bobby RP CHW
Gonzalez, Mike RP ATL
Hawkins, LaTroy RP HOU
Lindstrom, Matt RP FLA
Downs, Scott RP TOR
Wuertz, Michael RP OAK

Nathan, Joe RP MIN
Frasor, Jason RP TOR

This group averages a salary of 26.9 due in large part to 5 guys that went undrafted (highlighted). (It should be noted here that RP elligible sarters were removed from this list and any calculations.) We find another top ten releiver in Nathan, however, near the bottom of this group. Dividing this group into two halves the respective mean salaries are 23.4 and 30.4.

The next group of 5 RPs are.
Soriano, Rafael RP ATL
Wood, Kerry RP CLE
Rodney, Fernando RP DET
Madson, Ryan RP PHI

Rivera, Mariano RP NYY

Three of these players were not drafted, and one was drafted in the top ten rounds (Rivera, 8). Their average salary is 26.9. Looking at the bottom 10 of the 25 RPs, they have an average salary of 28.6. All 25 pitchers had an average salary of 25.2.

What does this mean? Well, it's still very early in the season. Several high ranking RPs have had fluky W totals, and some are not here due to injury. Also 3 of these pitchers were keepers, so their salaries are (essentally by definition) unrealistically high (numerically speaking). Nonetheless, early returns show that high scroing RPs, when broken into small groups, do not show salary patterns that deviate significantly from their overall average (ie, RP average salaries are condensed within a small range). There is also no clear trend from the numbers overall. Generally, salaries become higher as production goes down (as one would expct) but in some pockets the numbers go backwards, including the first two groups of five, and the last two groups of five.

Of course the relative randomness between RPs' productions and their draft positions can't be known until it is compared to other positions, but the condensed nature of the salaries is likely not going to be reproduced for any other positions. In other words, owner seem to have collectively adopted a strategy of taking most relievers in the late teens and beyond, where as hitters and SPs fill up the top ten rounds. The simple fact that relievers are essentially ignored for nearly half of the draft is something to be facored into the unpredictability of the position, versus a simple comparison between production ranking and order of selection.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Notable Pitching Week

The CPL has already seen 3 60-point weeks in the nascent '09 season, all from pitchers. The highest being from super-model-dating, social-phobia-having, 12-year-old-looking Zack Greinke.

In week two, he did this: 14 Inn, 0 ER, 2W, and 19Ks.

Some would call that "impressive" or "dominating."

Greinke's owner, Ricky, was at a loss for words after his ace's outstanding performance, saying only, "that just happened!"

Notable Weeks

Though it's still early, the CPL has already had 2 50-point weeks from hitters, both of whom play for the Ole' Bullshit and proud owner (and full-time lucky jack-ass), Mike Fenn.

Ian Kinsler - Week 2 - 59 points

Kinsler swiped 6, hit 2 dingers and batted .556. He's talented.

Albert Pujols - Week 3 - 50 points

Pujols, the machine, cranked 3 bombs, and stole 3 bases (all thanks to Jesus) while putting up a double-quarter.


Unironically, these are the 2 highest scoring hitters in the CPL. Nonetheless, Ole' Bullshit is only 1-2 on the season. (Perhaps, that's irony? I don't really know anymore.)

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Owch, Part 2: Reliever Bugaloo

Last night, Matt Lindstrom took the biggest shit imaginable, in the biggest bed on the planet. He faced 9 batters. 7 of them scored. That's a Mendoza-Line-ish success rate.... for a pitcher.

Lindstrom is said to be growing a third ball, just so he can say "Oww my balls" and actually mean it.

Monday, April 20, 2009

The marathon? Really? Lets focus on the real sports boston. No one cares about competitive exercising.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Chien-Ming WTF!?? (Or Chien-Ming Oww my Wang)

Ouch. Owwwch. Roughest week ever, (or "When you hope your starter doesn't make his second start of the week").

Here's the line for the Sinker-Balling Taiwanian:
2.1 INN
14 HA
3 BBI
2 K
16 ER
1 HB

I'll let Peter Griffin sum that up:

Monday, April 13, 2009

Week 1 '09 in the Books

Overall an interesting week. I mean, Fierce Deuce is currently in first place, picking up the W on 547 points! Who saw that coming?

Monday, April 6, 2009

Aces Getting Rocked, Khalil Greene Hitting Cleanup, Cats and Dogs Living Together - A Wacky "Opening Day"

That sums it up.

Seriously Tony Larussa, you've got this guy, Ludwick, on your team, he cranked 37 bombs last year. Then you've got this guy, Greene who crankd 27 bombs, two years ago and is currently a pretty terrible offensive player, and you go with ....... option B to protect the best hitter of the modern era. Jeepers. Don't you have a stop light to drunkenly pass out at?

In other news, Baseball Tonight has now included a sequence of commentators walking around the studio, and a segment with two versions of Karl Ravech on my screen to demonstrate switch hitting. Yet, somehow, I think I love it.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Scores. Will. Update. Tonight!!!

Real games. Real, meaningful, score-updating, effing games!

And so it begins. Happy Baseball Everyone!

Speaking of, pictures from Saturday's preseason game at the new CitiFied:












Monday, March 30, 2009

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Draft '09: In the Books!




You're looking at the 3rd and 2nd overall picks repectively, in the CPL '09 Draft (apparently auditioning as extras for the movie The Warriors).

A world-class event requires a world-class venue, and so the draft took place at the MGM Grand at Foxwoods in beautiful, woodsy Ledyard, CT. There was blackjack, fine-dining, scantily clad (southern Connecticut) women and about 270 cans of Miller Lite. In the end, approximately 230 players were selected over the course of two days of drafting.

The overall sentiment of owners leaving the draft was that this year it's anyone's league. Several teams seemed to have an improved approach in getting the most value for each of their picks, and that should create the most parity-ish season in the history of CPL.

Nonetheless, each team seemed to have its strength, with the Huner Killers having a ball-crushing infield and Bangkok Dangerous with a pitching staff that is poised to dominate. Fierce Deuce's improved draft approach didn't stop them from sticking with their tradition of old balls and drafting John Smoltz late in the game, while Mike Greenwell Power - a team going through a rebuilding era - drafted a host of players who had barely started shaving.
Some photos from the draft:

The Trophy passes hands.

Sweet sweet victory.... and beer.


Who will claim it next year?

Other great draft moments and team strengths may be left in the comments.


Tuesday, March 24, 2009

T-minus 60 hours

.. bitches!

Hanley Ramirez is expected to fly off the board at around9:15pm, Thursday. The excitement has now turned into annoying anticipation as each day seems to last for-frickin'-ever! Let's go, clock!

In other news: Is Curt Shilling a Hall of Famer? Here's his stat line:


INN - 3261.0
GS - 436
216-146
K - 3116
BBI - 711
HA - 2998
ERA - 3.46
WHIP - 1.14

I vote "yes as balls" on Schill. Everyone is going to talk about his Wins, but the guy just didn't start that many games for a 22 year career (22 x 20 starts/year = 440 starts). He still won basically half of the games he started and 60% of his decisions. 3000 K's is a number that can not be questioned, and an outstanding WHIP and ERA in the "live as hell ball era" can't be effed with, either. Then you also have 3 rings, and 4 world series appearances and an utterly dominating playoff resume which includes arguably the single finest/biggest/grittiest/dramatickest performance in the history of the motherfucking sport (especially given the backdrop of the 0-3 comeback - writers love that shit). (Seriously, Fenn wouldn't be seen in public for six months if they stapled his tendon to his bone, and this guy pitches a gem in the ALCS against the vaunted Yankees.)

I have a feeling all arguments against Schill are going to come down to meaningless cliches like "only 216 Wins," "no Cy Youngs" and "just didn't quite do enough."

I don't even like the guy - he's kind of a douche - but he was "feared" and "dominating" and "big game" and all that BS and has the stats to boot. Put him in!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Like a Flame that Burns a Candle...

The CPL 2009 Draft will go the fuck down in 2 weeks. 2 WEEKS!

Mood amongst CPL owners is perhaps best captured in artistic form by emotional chameleons and musical savants, Hall and Oates:



That goes out to you, Draft '09, from all of us at the CPL. Listen to this!!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Keepers Announced!

The 2009 CPL season is officially underway as the first roster spots have been filled.... with keepers, mufucka!

Here's how it all shook out:

Stick Hit Ball and Stuff kept:
Hamilton--15
Grienke--22
Dye--25
Soria--25
Slowey--34
Billingsley—34
Marmol--35
Rasmus--31 (Minors)

Fierce Deuce kept:
Halladay – 5
Kazmir - 7
Uggla - 10
Rios – 13
Harden - 14
Markakis – 19
Steve Pearce - 35 (Minors)

Neither Here Nor Oleyer kept:
Gonzalez--9
Bay--10
Burnett--11
Roberts--12
Liriano--17
Soto--18
Lidge—24

Zarley Zalapski and Friends kept:
Roy Oswalt - 6
Jhonny Peralta - 16
Joey Votto - 25
Matt Garza - 26
Manny Parra - 27
Brian Wislon - 32
Jose Lopez – 34

Hunter Killers kept:
Joba Chamberlain—10
Evan Longoria—13
Brandon Phillips—16
Kevin Youkilis—17
JD Drew—28
Justin Masterson—33
AJ Pierzynski—35

Ole Bullshit kept:
Sabathia--8
Beckett--9
Ellsbury--11
Kinsler--17
Ibanez--19
Jimenez—21
Bruce—29

Bangkok Dangerous kept:
Alex Rodriguez—1
Dan Haren—8
Edison Volquez—20
Granderson—24
Tim Lincecum--28
BJ Upton--31
Chase Headley--33
David Price—35 (Minors)

Chuck Norris Death Machine kept:
Cole Hamels—10
Dustin Pedroia—12
Stephen Drew—17
Matt Kemp—21
Ervin Santana—26
Clayton Kershaw--28
Troy Tulowitzki--29

Friday, February 27, 2009

Trade #47

CNDM sent fire-baller Ubaldo Jiminez to Ole Bullshit for a swap of 35th for a 31st round draft piks, respectively.

Not a real blockbuster, but it's a trade so back off!

What is a nickname for "Ubaldo?"

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Countdown! (or Can Comas be Self-Induced?)

We are exactly 4 weeks or (given February's shortness) one month away from the beginning CPL Draft-Fest '09! The draft will be held over two days at Foxwoods Resort and Casino in the woods of CT. This event is still lacking an official name or slogan, but sources indicate "Bring it, fuckers!" is being heavily considered.

While 4 weeks is not that far away, it seems clear that most CPL owners would happily sign up to be cryogenically frozen (like Sigourney Weaver in Aliens) until the big day arrives. Way to not come through on that one, science!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Trade #46

Neither Here Nor Oleyer and Stick Hit Ball and Stuff have announced a trade involved 3 likely keepers and some draft picks. Joining NHNO will be Brian Roberts, while young pitchers Zack Greinke and Kevin Slowey head over to SHBS.

Each team also sent additional considerations in the form of two draft picks apiece, with NHNO receiving 20th and 32nd round picks and SHBS getting 22nd and 34th rounders.

A big day of trading all around as the keeper deadline looms large on the horizon of awesomeness.

Trade #45

Bangkok Dangerous and Fierce Deuce announce a trade. Bangkok has agreed to send Roy Halladay, its 19th round pick, and Ricky's 21st round pick (acquired in the Joakim Soria deal) to Fierce Deuce for its 15th and 22nd round picks. Fierce Deuce welcomes the Old School, whiskey sipping, hunting enthusiast, Halladay to its team, and feels that he will fit right in to the DEUCE team concept.

Trade #44

Chuck Norris Death Machine and Fierce Deuce have announced a trade. Fierce Deuce has aquired OF Alex Rios and a 22nd-round draft choice, in exchange for an 18th-round draft choice. Owner reactions might be forthcoming (in the comments section).

CPL Federalist Papers.

The following statement was released from the Commissioner's Office on February 24, 2009. It is a two part statement from the Comissioner and Vice-Comissioner.

~~~
Good Evening Gentlemen,This is meant to be a general, State of the Union message from your humble commissioner to address some of the latest developments in our league. While I think this has been a spirited, interesting offseason, Fenn and I (your respective Jefferson and Madison), have noticed a few minor disturbances in the force that should be addressed. First, a little background: Everyone here knows the story regarding the birth of this league, but it should be revisited: After an extremely flawed 2005 season, Fenn and I, aided by a big bag of green, MLB World Series Edition '06, and 2 Doves albums, sat down for a weekend and attempted to build the perfect fantasy league. While every one of us may have a different idea of “perfect”, there were 3 primary goals that emerged that we wanted to be the basis of the CPL:

1. Creating a complex, original approach to fantasy baseball. We wanted to create a league that better equated fantasy performance to actual baseball performance (choosing a H2H points system instead of the lazy and stupid 5x5 approach). We wanted to incorporate a keeper system so that there could be “franchises” with continuity and an annual draft which would be the social backbone of this league. This particular goal of ours has been met well beyond either of our expectations. We are of the opinion that the system we devised is enjoyed universally by all. The evidence being the participation level which is higher than any league I've ever been in. By far.

2. Balancing an in-depth fantasy league and "user-friendliness." The main driving force behind this league reworking was a joint realization Fenn and I had that we were just a few months away from graduation and the end of the gravy train. Work, adulthood, all that bullsh*t was on our heels, so we wanted to create a league that people could effectively participate in without having to spend more than a few minutes on it week to week. Our vision was that each owner would spend the dog days of February and March scouting players at their leisure, draft a team during an awesome weekend vacation, and then set that team up once a week, sit back and enjoy. This could not be a league where lineups needed to be set daily and where the overly-active-participant has a sizeable advantage. The intent was that everyone has a fair shot, regardless of time constraints, so long as you do some draft prep during our harsh New England winters. This is why we devised the 35 round draft, rewarded owners for drafting good value, and limited pickups to 10.

3. Preserving the Sanctity of the Draft Weekend. This was THE biggest consideration. We talked about this through two munchie cycles. Similar to the point made above, the glory days of school were ending with careers and adulthood looming. We wanted the draft weekend to be the one weekend a year that all 8 of us could look forward to having an awesome guy weekend. The draft weekend is THE backbone of the league. It should be drafting, drinking, and talking about baseball. When we started to get a little excessive with rule talks, the winter meetings were created to keep the draft enjoyable for everyone.

The point is that we have strayed from these principles. What has happened recently cannot be condemned because it was all driven by interest in our league and excitement for the upcoming draft. But I think we should think about the big picture: Some of us are getting married. In the not-to-distant future, some of us may spawn little people, and some might move far away. 20 years down the road, I guarantee that people will be less inclined to travel to draft weekend if it involves too many rule interpretation arguments, crude draft-day deals and painful, painful delays. Can you remember what its like waiting for someone to pick their 34th player when their lists have run out? Just imagine the pain when three owners go in the other room for a side session to discuss a trade. Draft. Drink. Gamble. Lets keep it simple.

Let's look at yesterday's discussion of the in draft trade scenarios created by our switching to the 2-day draft as it a good illustration of our straying from the principles mentioned above. When we first concocted the two day draft the excitement was palpable. A 10 round quickie then a night of drinking and discussion. Then the remainder the next day, more drinking and baseball talk. Simple and Blissful. But now it has created complex discussions of keeper--round linkage and the proper machinations of post "Day 1" trades. While I agree that in draft trades create unique opportunities for wheeling and dealing and create new strategic dimensions, it also ignores some of the problems that will inevitably come up through the implementation of these moves. I believe that the potential delays, headaches, and confusion created by draft day trades are not worth the added strategy. I think we can all agree, this league is not lacking in strategic elements. Again, when it comes to the draft, keep it simple.

Finally, I think in the long run, people will participate less and fall by the wayside if our system becomes too complex and difficult to follow. Looking at the big picture, the CPL's downfall will not come from fuzzy rule interpretations; it will come from alienating members of the league.

MESSAGE FROM VICE-COMMISSIONER

Ricky and I talked about the foregoing at length today. Let me be the first to acknowledge that I have been one of the biggest culprits. During the tie-breaker debates, Walt made an interesting comment. He said that any one of us could basically bully through any piece of rule-making that we wanted to if we had the time. I think he was correct. In retrospect, given that the winter meetings had concluded, I should have left the tie-breaker alone. I originally thought everyone would agree quickly on a rule-change but that wasn’t the case. We all will all have different ideas of how the league can be improved. This should be acknowledged and is another reason why all rule debates should be tabled until the winter meetings … when we can get a bag of green, discuss any changes at length, play MLB 2k9 and feel Russian t*tties..

During the tie-breaker debates, I originally had a vision of a fair system via email in which (i) anyone can propose a rule, (ii) we follow the procedures in the Constitution and (iii) we vote. This turned out to be a nightmare. I’ve witnessed High School Student Counsel legislation pass with more ease. Again, I take full responsibility for this. But I want to make one point clear: I don’t think the tie-breaker rule process is, or should be, precedent for this league. If the Constitution has one major flaw, it is the Amendment section. Remember how much time Ricky said we spent talking about the draft weekend? Well, we spent all of 2 f*cking minutes drafting the amendment section. We shouldn’t have 4-4 ties that are settled by one guy that changes positions just to get something passed (Again, my bad). If a rule idea is good, it should get 6 votes. During the winter meetings next year, I will propose a 75% threshold for passing amendments. Walt is correct; we shouldn’t be able to just jam sh*t through.

Going forward, if there are any rule ambiguities, send your concerns to the Commissioner. This is a fantasy league amongst friends. Despite some of my efforts in the past, I think we should acknowledge that the Constitution was designed by a couple stoned guys to be a general set of rules as opposed to a launching pad for legal argument and interpretation. If you think you are stretching things or that a transaction could be illegal, it probably is. So get the Commish’s advice first. Keep it simple, and put your energies into draft preparation.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

The Constitution

The California Penal League

Article I. Administration
Officers:

Commissioner – Daniel Desjeunes (a.k.a. “Ricky”)
Vice Commissioner – Michael Fenn
Treasurer – Walter Welsh
Fees:
The fee for the league is $175 plus costs.
Winnings:
The League Fees are distributed after each season according to the following scale:

$175 for Regular Season Champ
$450 for Playoff Champ
$300 2nd in playoffs
$200 3rd in playoffs
$100 4th in playoffs

Non-playoff teams (Loser's Bracket)
$75 5th in Reg Season
$50 6th in Reg Season
$50 7th in Reg Season
$0 Last in the Regular Season

Dispute Settlement:
The Commissioner shall settle all party disputes that can be resolved by use of the rules outlined in this document (the “Rules”). If an issue arises that is not in the Rules, or the Commissioner decides that a rule is too vague to settle the dispute, the Commissioner will take a vote from all persons that own teams in the league (the “Owners”). A majority vote is required to settle the dispute. Changes to Rules or any Amendments require a minimum of 5 votes for ratification. In the event that a majority cannot be reached because three or more solutions exist, the Commissioner will take the top two vote-getting solutions and take another vote. All amendments must be ratified before the start of the season.


Franchises:

The CPL consists of eight franchises:

1. Fierce Deuce—Owner—Kevin Hadfield
2. Hunter Killers—Owner—Walter Welsh
3. Bangkok Dangerous—Owner—Javier Flores
4. Neither Here Nor Oleyer—Owner—Michael Oleyer
5. Ole’ Bullshit—Owner—Michael Fenn
6. Zarley Zalapski & Friends—Owner—Aaron Levy
7. Chuck Norris Death Machine—Owner—Nick Talarico
8. Stick, Hit, Ball & Stuff—Owner—Daniel Desjeunes

Article II. Rosters
Starting Roster

The starting roster for each team is as follows: 2 Catchers; 1 First Baseman; 1 Second Baseman; 1 Shortstop; 1 Third Baseman; 1 Middle Infielder (any player that qualifies at 2B or SS); 1 Corner Infielder (any player that qualifies at 1B or 3B); 1 Designated Hitter; 4 Outfielders; 5 Starting Pitchers; and 3 Relief Pitchers.

Players are eligible at their primary position, plus positions they've played 20 games last year or 10 games this year. All position players are eligible at DH.

A team’s “Starting Pitching Staff” (i.e., 5 SPs and 3 RPs) may not have more than 10 projected starts for a scoring period. For purposes of enforcing this rule, projected starts will be determined by the CBS Sportsline projections listed at 10:00 a.m. EST (the “Start Deadline”) on the day the scoring period begins. If a team’s Starting Pitching Staff has more than 10 projected starts on or before the Start Deadline, such team’s lineup is illegal (the Owner of said team, the “Defaulting Owner”). If projected starts are added to a team’s Starting Pitching Staff on CBS Sportsline after the Start Deadline, such team’s lineup is legal for the scoring period.

The Commissioner, Vice Commissioner and the Defaulting Owner’s opponent may, but are not required to, send notice to the Defaulting Owner informing him of the illegal lineup. Prior to the “lineup lock deadline” as listed on CBS Sportsline, the Defaulting Owner may change his roster to comply with this rule. Prior to the start of the Defaulting Owner’s first MLB game of the scoring period, meaning before the start of any MLB game containing an “active” or “reserve” player on Defaulting Owner’s roster, but excluding any player on the Disabled List and in the minors (the “DO First Game”), the Defaulting Owner may send a time and date stamped message (e-mail, text, voicemail) to the Commissioner, Vice Commissioner or his opponent listing the lineup changes desired to bring the team into compliance. Any such message sent after the start of the DO First Game will not be honored and the Owner’s roster will be modified by the Commissioner to attain compliance. The Commissioner shall modify the Defaulting Owner’s lineup in good faith, and the Owners accept and acknowledge the Commissioner’s authority to do so. Any lineup changes by the Commissioner shall be non-appealable unless a majority of the Owners find that the Commissioner did not act in good faith. For purposes of this section, “good faith” shall be defined as “honestly and without deliberate intention to set a weaker, compliant Starting Pitching Staff than otherwise available to the Defaulting Owner.” The Owners acknowledge that (i) a player’s total points for the current season, and (ii) CBS Sportsline projections for the scoring period are reasonable, good faith basis to decide between eligible players under this section.
Bench
Each team will have 14 bench players. Owners may fill their bench with any combination of players.
Each team will also have 2 minor league players. A player must be in the minor leagues in order to qualify. In the event that a player is brought from the minors to the majors, the Owner must either: (a) put the player on his bench if the Owner has an open spot; (b) put the player on his bench and release a player from his bench; or (c) release the player into the free agent pool.
Each team will also have 2 injured reserve spots. A player must be on the Disabled List in order to qualify.
On draft day, Owners may draft both: (a) players in the minor leagues as of draft day, and (b) players on the disabled list as of draft day. However, those players must take a spot on the Owner’s 14 player bench until the date that waiver moves are allowed. Owners will not be receiving additional draft picks for minor league players and injured players.

Article III. The Draft and Keepers
Draft Day:

On draft day, each owner will select a total of 35 players (21 for starting lineup; 14 for bench). Each round, the pre-determined draft order will “snake,” meaning the Owner with the last pick in the 1st round will have the first pick in the 2nd round. Each team’s draft position is chosen by the owner per the following system:

1st choice—1st place finisher of the previous year’s loser’s bracket tournament
2nd choice—2nd place finisher of the previous year’s loser’s bracket tournament
3rd choice—3rd place finisher of the previous year’s loser’s bracket tournament
4th choice—4th place finisher of the previous year’s loser’s bracket tournament
5th Choice—4th place finisher of the previous year’s playoffs
6th Choice—3rd place finisher of the previous year’s playoffs
7th Choice—2nd place finisher of the previous year’s playoffs
8th Choice—The previous year’s champion

Keepers:
Each player selected in the draft will be given a 3-year contract. In the event a player is traded, the new owner receives the player’s original contract.
Beginning with the 2007 season, each Owner may keep up to 7 players from their roster. The “keeper” will count against the Owner’s 2007 draft according to the round that he is selected in the 2006 draft. Owners may only keep 2 of their first 5 selections. Subsequent years will work in the same fashion. All players not identified as keepers are considered released, their 3-year contract is voided and they enter next year’s draft pool.
Players that are picked up from the waiver wire after the draft may NOT be kept the next year. Such players will automatically become free agents again for the following season’s draft.
An Owner may choose to keep two players from the same round (one he drafted and another he traded for). The higher scoring player of the two will be “kept” in the earlier round. Illustration: Owner1 drafts Randy Winn in the 12th round. Later in the year he acquires Jeff Suppan, Owner2’s 12th round pick. In that year, Winn scores 21 points and Suppan scores 23 points. If Owner1 chooses to keep both Winn and Suppan, Winn would be his 12th round pick in year 2 and Suppan would be the 11th round pick in year 2.
A player who moves up a round in keeper value (i.e. Jeff Suppan above) maintains the new value going forward. Therefore, if Owner1 wishes to keep Suppan for year 3 then he must keep him in the 11th round, NOT the original value i.e. the 12th.

Illustrations:
 Trading of Contracts: If Owner1 drafts Alex Rodriguez in 2006 and decides to keep him for 2007 and then trades him to Owner2 in 2007, Owner2 has rights to Alex Rodriguez for two years (the 2007 and 2008 seasons).

 2007 Draft: If Owner1 drafts Paul Konerko in the second round in 2006, and Owner1 decides to keep him, Konerko will be Owner1’s 2007 second-round selection.

 2008 Draft: If Owner1 drafts Brad Lidge in the 1st round of 2007, and wishes to keep both Lidge and Konerko, Owner1’s first and second round picks will be filled with those players. Thus, Owner1 may NOT keep any player from his third, fourth, or fifth round selections.

“Minor” Keepers: In addition to a team’s seven designated keepers, teams have the option of keeping players who have not yet attained MLB rookie status. If a player is drafted in Year A and (a) never enters the team’s starting lineup during Year A or (b) does not attain rookie status in Year A, as determined by MLB rules, that player may be kept in Year B’s draft in the same round he was drafted in Year A. If the player meets this “minor” designation, Year A will NOT be considered Year 1 of that player’s 3-year contract. A player may be designated a minor player for unlimited seasons prior to his official rookie designation.

Article IV. Transactions
Lineups are set once at the start of each scoring period. Each scoring period is set by CBS Sportsline and is generally one week, from Monday through Sunday. The deadline for setting lineups is 30 minutes before the first game on the first day of the scoring period. Illegal rosters receive 0 points for the scoring period. Sportsline will notify you when your roster is illegal.
The Playoffs start in period 22 and each round shall consist of 2 scoring periods. Prior to the start of the first round of the playoffs, each competing Owner will designate 1 Batter and 1 Pitcher from its bench to compete in the event of a tie. Owners may designate alternative players before the beginning of Week 2 of the playoff round if they wish to do so. In the event of a CPL World Series tie, the Owners will compete during the last week of the MLB regular season.

Add/Drops
Add/Drops are handled by a waivers process. Each Owner will have up to 10 waiver moves in the season. Once a player is picked up that player may not be traded for a 10 day period. The waivers process runs everyday until the season starts, at which time the process will run on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. The waiver order resets after each weeks' games. Dropped players remain on waivers for at least 1 day.

Trades
Owners may freely make trades. Owners may make trades during the off-season. No trades can be made during the season after the trade deadline of 11:59 PM ET on June 30 of each season.

(1) Draft Picks. Draft picks may be traded. When trading a draft pick, Owners must get an equal amount of draft picks in return so that every owner will have 35 picks in the next year’s draft.

(2) Trading Players with Keeper Rights. Only drafted players may be kept. Therefore, traded players may only be kept if they were drafted by the owner trading them and had not been released to the free agent pool between the time the player was drafted and the time of the trade. If an Owner wishes to keep a player acquired via trade, the traded player will count against the Owner's draft according to the round that the traded player was drafted in by his original Owner.

(3) No option trades are permitted—if a player is traded from Team A to Team B during the season, he may not revert back to Team A without valid consideration.

(4) A player who has been retained (“kept”) for the third year of his contract MAY NOT be traded once the MLB season begins.

Comments and Examples.

The easiest way to process this is just to remember that a player's value (the round he was selected in) transfers to any subsequent owner so long as the player wasn't released to the free agent pool. Thus, if Joe Dimaggio is picked in the 2nd round, and is traded two times, he will be on the third owner's roster as a 2nd round pick. The third owner may then have two 2nd round picks on his roster. The following year, assuming third owner only has one 2nd round pick, he may only keep one of the players because our keeper/draft system could not work in any other way.

Example 1:

In 2006, Owner1 trades his 2007 3rd round pick to Owner2 in return for "Good Player" and Owner2's 24th round pick.

Result 1:

Owner 1 has keeper rights to "Good Player" (assuming such player was not a free agent pickup). If Good Player was drafted by Owner2 in the 4th round, Owner1 will presumably have two players on his roster that were drafted in the 4th round. Assuming Owner1 has not acquired an additional 4th round pick, Owner1 may either: (a) Not keep either player and retain his 2007 4th round pick; (b) keep ONE of the players as his 2007 4th round pick, and release the other into the free agent pool, or (c) keep one player in the 4th Round and the better of the two players (as outlined above) in the next available round (e.g., the 2nd Round). Owner1 cannot keep any player drafted in the 3rd round unless he acquires a 3rd round pick from another Owner (because he traded his 3rd round pick).

Result 2:

Owner2 will have two 3rd-round picks. Owner2 may either: (a) keep a player drafted in the 3rd round (as either his scheduled 3rd round pick or his acquired 3rd round pick); (b) release any 3rd round drafted players into the free agent pool, and have two 3rd round picks; or (c) in the event Owner2 acquires another 3rd round player, keep two 3rd round players. Owner2 may not keep any player drafted in the 24th round unless he acquires a 24th round pick from another Owner (because he traded his 24th round pick).

Article V. Scoring
Scoring is a Head-to-Head, Points Based System. A tie in a regular season game will be reflected as a tie in the standings.
Batting Points:

Singles 1
Doubles 2
Triples 3
Walks 1
Hitting for the Cycle 2 additional points
Grand Slam Home Run 1 additional point
Hit By Pitch 1
Home Run 4
Runs 1
Runs Batted In 1
Stolen Bases 2
Pitching Points:

Walks Issued -0.5
Complete Games 5 additional points
Earned Runs -1
Hits Allowed -0.5
Hit Batsman -0.5
Holds 3
Innings 2 per inning
Strikeouts 1
No Hitter 10 add. points
Saves 8
Shutouts 2 additional points
Wins 10
Click Here to see the California Penal League's Official Constitution