Humbly Rounding the Bases > Being Talented at Baseball

There's really a lot wrong with this article by one John Delcos.

Mechanically, it's a fucking nightmare. It uses 3 paragraphs to make the very basic point of "No one should care about the Mets' Jordany Valdespin." Two of its first 5 paragraphs are, in their entirety, as follows: "Answer: There is no reason." and "Bottom line: They can lose with or without Valdespin."

Which brings me to another very weird and incredibly dumb piece of this article. Delcos keeps making this argument that the Mets are really bad, so Valdespin doesn't matter because they are bad with him or without him. But this argument obviously would apply the same to David Wright or Matt Harvey? "They can lose with or without [Harvey/Wright]."

Anyway, so Delcos really doesn't like Valdespin, who appears to be a pretty talented, toolsy youngster on the Mets. So what makes him not worth caring about? Well, his attitude. His attitude is "me-first." And, we all know that players with that type of attitude have never had successful major league careers, or contributed to good teams. (Except for Barry Bonds, and Reggie Jackson, and Wade Boggs, and Pete Rose.)

How do we know his attitude is so me-first-y? Well he preened and watched a home run in a game his team was losing badly. Once again, we need look no further than baseball history to learn that hot-doggish, me-first-y guys have never been great players - except for the fact that the biggest hot dog of all time, Ricky Henderson, was an absolutely dominant force on a baseball field and won like 3 World Series.

I've seen the play. It was hardly egregious but it was moderately dick-ish. I mean, Valdespin's a young player who hit an upper deck blast and wanted to have some fun admiring it. Not good etiquette. But hardly the end of the world. In fact, I seem to recall Ken Griffey Jr. (a forgettable nobody who never contributed anything) leisurely walking out of the box every single time he jacked one out.

Back to Valdespin, veterans and coaches should pull him aside and tell him to knock it off. Again, no biggie. I'd venture a conservative guess that 50% of players, early in their careers, crossed the invisible lines of baseball etiquette and had to be set straight.

Valdespin was indeed set straight, by his opponents. As the author of this hit-piece rushes to inform us, Valdespin was plunked by the Pirates as retaliation. But oh his reaction to getting hit!? It was horrible. He got mad and spiked his helmet. He could have injured a teammate! It could have "ricocheted and hit somebody in the eye!" This is unacceptable of course. You know this is so because Paul O'Neil who threw tantrums to rival a 3 year old girl , was widely decried and criticized and called awful names such as a ... "gamer" and "great competitor" and "true class act."

Now, if you are still not convinced that we should all maintain a posture of something hovering between indifference and dislike towards a talented young prospect, then John Delcos still has one more- oh wait, no. Nope, that's the whole thing. That's his entire case.

To recap: this young, talented player should be forgotten, written off and made to sit on the bench while some washed-up has been (like, who's the worst player you can think of, let's say Rick Ankiel! Remember him!? Just awful! Oh wait) gets his ABs, because he.. wait for it... watched a homer and got mad when he got plunked. Boom! Case closed!

This article is garbage on so many levels but it's also a kind of dog-whistle-y with the "NBA diva" comment and its overall tone.

168.17

Possibly a record, CNDM scored 168.17 points on Memorial Day 2013. CNDM's hitters went 20-49 with 4 dingers and Justin Verlander and Jeff Samarshsjk!jwa combined for over 70 points.

Not a good start to the week for the Deuce.

Ike Davis Saves the World

Imagine a world where the top scorer in the whole league had, nonetheless, a record of 2-6 after 8 weeks of the 2013 CPL Season. Imagine the man who owned that team was Javier. Just imagine that, let it marinate in your thinky-gland.

This was almost the reality we woke up to today on this fine Memorial Day. The only (or central) thing that a allowed us to avert that awful, bleak reality was a clutch base hit by the absolute worst player in all of Major League Baseball, Mr. Ike Davis. Davis's single gave the Metties the lead and precluded a Screaming Featherheads-defeating Kimbrel save.

Head-to-Head is the best format for fantasy baseball (and nearly all other activities in life). This is not debatable. I will fight a man in the street who says otherwise. But win-loss records that fail to reflect comparative team quality is the risk we take. It's the life we have chosen.

Alas, the highest point scorer is 3-5. Thankfully it's incredibly unlikely that the team with the most points would have the league's worst record. But not as unlikely as an Ike Davis base hit.

[Total aside: is it bad that I never once felt myself rooting for the Mets to win that game knowing that I needed a Kimbrel save to win? Is Memorial Day Weekend too early to abandon your real team for your fantasy team?]

Getting Rulesy: The RP Sub Rule is Tested

On or about Wednesday May 22, 2013 Ole' Bullshit attempted to sub out Rafael Betancourt and replace him with some fucking guy named Fujikawa. As Ole' owner Mike Fenn would explain, Betancourt was removed from the previous game after throwing 2 pitchers well short of the plate and was then scheduled to undergo an MRI.

The rules state, in relevant part:

"If a Owner has (i) a reasonable expectation that an RP is injured or otherwise will not be available to his MLB team to pitch, and (ii) a reasonable expectation that said RP will miss 2 or more games in the Scoring Period, then Owner can substitute him with another RP, provided that (x) said Owner shall be required to provide evidence confirming said reasonable expectations to the league.."
 

That's when Hunter Killer's (Ole's opponent) owner Walt Welsh swooped in to object. Citing the following quote from the player himself, Walt stated there was insufficient evidence Betancourt would miss 2 games:

"We will see what will come from tomorrow. We have Thursday off, and I hope it will be fine if I don't pitch those two days. If it was more serious I would tell you. If it was really bad I would tell you. But it's getting tight every time, and it's not easy to pitch like that..."
 

Always the gentleman, Fenn withdrew his attempted sub, but maintained that two ugly pitches and an MRI should satisfy the 2 game "reasonable expectation," especially since he was subbing out a closer for a set-up man. Disinterested league owners disagreed. The day was Walt's. Perhaps Fenn's point would have been stronger if not for the quote given by the player, and perhaps the rule is too strict.

Regardless, this dispute is hereby recorded as precedent because that's what happens when you start a fantasy baseball league with a bunch of douchey lawyers.