Predictions and stuff

We're a little past the half-way mark, this is where people usually start to make predictions about end-of-the-season awards. So here goes:

The MVP race is almost 100% locked up in both leagues it seems. Pujols is probably getting 10 to 1 odds in favor of him winning the award in Vegas, and really only something as unlikely and cataclysmic as a 30 minute solar eclipse could derail his campaign.

As for the AL, it will take something completely possible, but still very unlikely to keep Morneau from grabbing his 2nd trophy. Morneau will actually get competition, and, it's safe to say, will not win the award unanimously (as Pujols is sure to do) thanks to a big year from Carl Crawford. It would also be unwise to bet against the stupidity masquerading as nostalgia and high-mindedness of the Baseball Writers to cast a bunch of votes for Derek Jeter, who is in fact having a very good season despite passing over the threshold into the age where Hadfield is likely to make him a 3rd round pick. Of course Jeter's old-balls-iness will only make him more popular with writers, who think things like surprising numbers and overcoming adversity (A-rod's steroids and then injury, shaky pitching, or "he's old!" or whatever other bullshit) actually has something to do with being valuable - plus don't forget Jeter's never lost an All-star game!

The Cy Young awards follow a somewhat similar pattern. Fucking screw everything in NL because Dan Haren has an ERA under 2.00 and a WHIP of .80. If you're WHIP is low enough that were it your BAC you would not immediately drop dead, you should win the Cy Young award AND collect an automatic 5 votes (in the form of redeemable chips) towards entering the Hall of Fame. Blah blah blah, Tim Lincecum, blah blah, NL west can't hit for balls, blah blah blah. .8 WHIP, people!

The AL gets a little more dicey as the race appears to be between Greinke and Halladay, w/ King Felix poised to make a stretch run. Halladay is probably the favorite here if he stays in the AL, since people are all up on this guys balls right now. Plus, Greinke has, despite the insanely low ERA, shown signs of being mortal. Halladay is more likely to end up with a higher Win total as well - and Cy Young voters love those W's - and Halladay will rightfully get credit for pitching in the murderer's row that is the AL East. If Halladay gets traded to the Senior Circuit, then the race becomes a little more open as between Hernandez and Greinke.

Johnny Cuet-Oww My Balls!!

-11.17. That's what Cueto did Monday night against the Phillies. A quick scan shows this is likely the worst pitching performance of the season, and it included a 3-run double allowed to Cole Hamels (with two outs).

Overall, Cueto's line looked like this: 2/3 IP, 5 HA, 3 BB, 1 HB, 9 ER. His performance could only have been worse if he castrated himself on the mound and threw his nuts up there. Not. Good.

580.17-304.67

With the 11th 500 point game and second-highest score total of the season, Bangkok Dangerous opened up a tanker of whoop-ass, nearly doubling up the Deuce. Much like an actual Fierce Deuce this game was not pretty, as the BD ("th Kok") dropped 17 HRs, along with 6 Wins and 7 Saves (posting an overall ERA of 2.20).

Deuce Manager/Owner Kevin Hadfield took time from grilling a squirrel during a 4th of July cookout to lambaste his team. "You gotta play with a little something called 'pride.' You can't just stop trying cuz you know you're down by 200 points." Said Hadfield through a mouth of dip, in between spitting into a sippy-cup. "You gotta act like you've got a pair, even when you know you can't win. These guys are giant pussies and I'd kick their asses if I ever met them... and didn't have a bum shoulder."

Meanwhile, that's the 3rd 500 point week for BD, the leagues highest scoring team.